Breaking the Cycle: How Faith, Family, and Perseverance Transformed Our Lives

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It has been a great couple of weeks; things seem to be evening out. It feels like there have been months, if not years, of struggle for us, and this last month has been great! There have been ups and downs, struggles and trials, along with solutions and compromise. Our kids are still not perfect (Surprise!), and neither are we (Even bigger surprise!), but progress is being made by all of us! Having 9 or 10 other people living in your house is never easy, and sometimes it feels like we would just like to go back to America and have a nuclear family. Problems become overwhelming, emotions run high, and quitting seems easier than going through the process of making it better. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

Wind pushing the girls around on a cart at church

That has been our cycle, and MAN! It feels great to break that cycle! We have been doing things differently and praying more than we ever have, and making sure to do the things we need to do to be happy! We have been finding ways to cut out the stress, praying more together, exercising, and practicing deep breathing. We made the decision a few months ago to do these things, but we become overwhelmed by the work God has given us and leave behind some of the things that keep us happy. It happens. We are just like everyone else, and we get our priorities mixed up. Sometimes the work becomes more important than the One who gave us the work, which in turn makes the work much, much harder. Sometimes, it is just a ritual, and we lack the deep connection we long for, which is just as damaging to our peace and our house. It’s not the cause of all of our problems; we still have kids and teens. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

David and Wind posing on the ladder they built to get into the well

But we praise God through all of it because we can see grace having a real effect on us, and we are finally able to accept it! We aren't coming down on each other or getting angry at each other when we mess up. When we accept the grace that God gives us, we are able to extend it to our kids as well. Kids always mess up, and that's the beauty of being a kid—learning how to do things wrong! Of course, the ultimate goal is to do them right, but it takes a lot of screw-ups along the way, learning to do it wrong, that enables them to be able to learn how to do it right! When God's grace isn't enough or we can't accept it, it just turns us into dictators and bad parents, who are unwilling to accept anything but perfection, that we never get, because it is impossible for anyone and everyone to meet that expectation. “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’” 2 Corinthians 12:9

Daughter Kartun, Husband Baantote and Granddaughter Yayee! Super proud!

Through all of our faults and imperfections, God still continues to bless and help these kids grow. With the help of other people who believe in the work we are doing, we were able to send both of our boys to soccer camp. We were able to show up early and watch their scrimmages, which were the biggest games they have ever played in their lives. The joy on their faces when they saw me standing there watching was amazing to see. They played as hard as they could and kept looking at me every time they did something great, and they still talk about it. We have been struggling with responsibility with our boys, and with our options limited in Thai, we started reading “Extreme Ownership” together and talking about the principles in the book. It is going really well, and the boys are starting to realize how important it is to be a good leader and what responsibility looks like in their life. “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6

Every time we get new kids, we get new lice too!

We have been pouring out love on our girls, spending tons of time and giving lots of affection to them. They are growing and learning how to accept love, slowly but surely. It is much easier for our smaller girls to be loving and affectionate than for our pre-teen girls, who are stuck in this phase of not wanting to be small and easily affectionate. They also have that intense desire for a mother and father who love and accept them, but they don’t want to show it they want to be perceived as strong and independent “women.” They are the most fun and the most bored kids in our house. We love them even when they want to be loved, and I think it is benefiting their lives more than they would like to admit. “And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” Colossians 3:14

Doing some gardening at church clean-up day!

Sarah is feeling the benefits more than anyone else! She has been our most defiant and our most unlovable, while at the same time having the most potential and desire to be loved. With her, it has taken years to undo all the years of lies she has believed about herself. We are not completely there, but we are starting to see results, which is amazingly encouraging. She has started to believe she is smart and beautiful, and we are trying to turn her very inquisitive nature into a strength instead of an annoyance. We have had her and her brother for 3 years now, and we are starting to see results from all the work she has been doing.

All of our little girls, looking super cute!

We have also been surprised by the government to find that Cystic Fibrosis (which Evangeleen has) is not a disability. With the oldest Thai person having only reached 18 years old, it does not qualify for disability, but ADD, ADHD, and PTSD all do. This means that each one of our kids, besides Evangeleen, can get a disability card, which gives them 800 THB ($22) a month. This will allow us the ability to send them to camps and fun events a few times a year, and the rest we will save for them when they move out of our house.

The boys with their soccer coach, getting photo bombed by their new friend!

We are also realizing that one of our girls will probably never leave our care. Her ability to take care of herself is much lower than even Evangeleen, and with such a low IQ, we are just trying to wrap our minds around the idea that she will be with us longer than the others. Her thought processes are slow, and her ability to love seems very different from the other kids. She is kind of reluctant to love and be loved, and it doesn't feel as genuine and pure as the other kids, but I guess that can be expected with the trauma she has been through. Please pray for wisdom for us in navigating her needs. “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” James 1:5

Rachels legs because she cannot keep scratching the mosquito bites on her legs, even after they are bleeding

With everything that we are doing and going through, things are going very well, and we are really happy. God is blessing and guiding through all of the ups and downs of our missionary life, and we are enjoying seeing the miracles and mercy God has for us! “Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.” 1 Chronicles 16:34

Everyone eating dinner together, like we do on the floor!